Wednesday, September 07, 2005

A Comment From A Father

Below is a reader's comment to this posting:

Dear ASJ,

I come to your blog via Seraphic Secret. I found your remarks about the baby monitor especially meaningful; in my case, years ago, we too had a monitor in my teenage son Benjamin's Z"L basement bedroom who suffered from type 1, juvenile diabetes and who was prone to hypoglycemic events in the wee hours of the morning. When this did happen, Ben would let out a deeply anguished moan, a genuinely terrifying noise, especially in the middle of the night. The monitor broadcast his cry to our upstairs bedroom; we awoke always panic-stricken, raced downstairs through the kitchen, grabbing the honey on the way down to Ben's room. I used the honey to swab the inside of Ben's cheeks thereby raising his bloodsugar dramatically.

Thank you for having posted such a sweet story! Such a refreshingly pleasant recollection making my own just the tiniest bit less painful! I am ...

Sincerely yours,

Alan D. Busch


At September 7, 2005 at 10:48:00 AM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

- Sigh -
If we could only see and understand G-d's plan...
How often my children don't like decisions I make because they don't understand that it's for their benefit - I sympathize with their plight, as we often understand G-d's action even less.
Mr. Busch,
I can't imagine the suffering of a parent in that situation. May death be removed from the Earth.

At September 11, 2005 at 5:05:00 PM EDT, Blogger Alan aka Avrum ben Avrum said...

Dear Reb Chabakuk,

Amen! Though I dare say we'd have quite the over-population crisis were death to be removed from the Earth!? :) ... though I thank you for the intended meaning of your tefila!

On the other hand, is not death as much a part of "maasei beresheet" as birth itself? Are not our lives simply the time between those two extremities? It is not death in and of itself that is problemtic! When it brings to a close the life of an elderly person, we mourn, we grieve, but it does not invert the normalcy of the universe as does the death of a child or a young adult! Though mourning ends in time, grief is ever present for bereaved parents-not unlike that of Yaakov Avinu upon learning of the "death" of Yosef! Was not Yaakov's recitation of Shema Yisroel-upon his reunion with Yosef-an expression of thanksgiving to God that He had set Yaakov's world aright? That, in fact, a child had not preceded a parent in death?!

Thank you again for your kind words, and I look forward to any response you may have. I am ...

Sincerely yours,

Alan D. Busch

At September 11, 2005 at 9:11:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

In truth there is no real "death."
However, in our earthy state there is death on this level, and there is pain. Ideally -- in a post-geula, or pre-eitz haddas world -- physical death is not part of our reality.
Geula is often referred to as the time when death will be removed from the world -- and that is what I was referring to.

I remember hearing a drasha by R" Yisroel Reisman, and he said that a bochur once came to him asking:
"Why do we daven for Moshiach so much? I mean, honestly, I don't think I'm ready for that... my middos are not what they should be, I have many areas that still need improvement -- shouldn't I want him to wait a bit longer to give me some more time?"
Rabbi Reisman responded that the bochur was right. But, we should daven for Moshiach anyway, because of kovod shomayim - because G-d is not recognized at this time, and with Moshiach, G-d will get the respect he deserves.
Well, I was not so excited by his answer, and I couldn't help but wonder to myself - Isn't that the height of selfishness? The world is full of immeasurable pain & suffering (may G-d have mercy) and it can all end with Moshiach & Geula - but let's prolong it a bit longer because I need to work on my anger...?!
That's what I'm referring to. The tragedy that you point out, of a child passing away in a parent's lifetime is one thing that I wish would never happen to any parent, and I pray that those days will come to an end very soon.

At September 12, 2005 at 3:46:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

By the way,
Today (Monday) is the 8th yartzeit of a good friend that I grew up with. Although he was younger than me, and we ultimately moved to different cities, he always kept in touch until his untimely passing.
His name was Raphael Yitzchak Ephraim ben Fraida Sara and Arye Leib Shlomo. Rafi passed away after fighting CF for 22 years. If you would like to help elevate his neshama, put a coin in a pushka or say a psalm or two.


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