Thursday, October 20, 2005

"Mine!" - An Only Child's Thoughts - Part II

The fact that my wife had an older brother and that I was an only child is sometimes apparent in how we relate to our children. When our 16 month-old son tries to disrupt our three year-old daughter as she sits nicely coloring with her crayons my initial instinct is to stop him from getting into her crayons. My wife's instinct is to let him go over and bother his sister.

Growing up as an only child, I always had a very clear concept of what was mine. I can thus relate to my daughter when she keeps things to herself. I can sympathize with my daughter when she feels that someone else is encroaching on her space.

My wife views things from a different perspective having grown up with a sibling. She looks at our son's "encroachments" as an opportunity to teach our daughter to learn the ability how to deal with frustration and conflict; something most of us have not mastered even in adulthood.

When I step back, I see the wisdom in my wife's approach and I try to moderate the "only child" instincts inside my 32 year-old mind. It continues to amaze me how one's family structure growing up plays a part in a person's evolving personality.

"Mine" Part I can be read here.


At October 20, 2005 at 6:41:00 AM EDT, Blogger Shoshana said...

It sounds like your wife has a lot of patience to listen to arguments :)

At October 20, 2005 at 6:53:00 AM EDT, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Yes she does ;)

At October 20, 2005 at 6:05:00 PM EDT, Blogger AS said...

sounds like in your instance the kineged means she is your better half.

At October 22, 2005 at 8:10:00 AM EDT, Blogger Alice said...

Hmmm. This is an interesting question. I suppose if one applies the what-would-a-mother-of-six-kids-do litmus test, my current personal favorite, then one would minimize possessiveness as much as possible. Not easy in this culture, or world for that matter.

Anyone with more than one tiny baby and two months experience parenting, feel free to disagree.

At October 23, 2005 at 11:54:00 PM EDT, Blogger Jack Steiner said...

Experience as a child plays such a big role as a parent. I find it to be very interesting.


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