A Reader Responds To Tuesday's Posting

Frum Philly Farmgirl responds to the questions in "What Does It Say About You?":

What does your davening reveal about your emunah?

In davening I start off with what I hope is lots of kavanah and then sometimes I have difficulty staying focused. My mind will wander to the most ridiculous things. I think this also happens when it comes to my emunah. I will start off with a bang,"YAY HASHEM! I KNOW YOU WILL PROVIDE AND TAKE CARE OF ME!" and then I will lose focus and wander off track. Next thing you know I am in panic mode.

Does your emunah shine through when you say a brocha?

Oy, this is really something I am trying to work on. I can say a bracha with much enthusiasm. I love to make brachot. But sometimes again, if I get distracted, I forget. I feel so bad and then half way through, let's say eating an apple, I remember. :-( The other thing I forget is borei nefashot. The whole "thank you." I think this has to do with my mindfulness. Being in the moment, talking to HaShem and thanking Him for what He provides for me. The other day for example as I was looking at our budget and talking to my beloved about it. I said, "We need such and such amount for the rest of this month and next." He replied with OK, he would work on it. Then I started to tell him about January, what would we do about this, and I didn't know about the rent etc. He stopped me in my tracks and said "Let's get through this month first and worry about January when it gets here. Who knows Moshiach might be here and then we will other things to think about." I was glad he said this because he got me focused again. I went into panic and not having emunah. I just needed to sit there with the 'apple', make the bracha and say thank you when I was done. I wasn't supposed to worry about where the next apple was coming from, just be grateful for this one.

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UPDATE: Shoshana from Sweet Rose posted here thoughts on these questions here.