At The Forefront Of My Mind
My wife started experiencing contractions in the middle of the night before she had our first two children. Perhaps it is for this reason that I expect the contractions to start at the same time for baby number three, who is due any day now.
Lately, thoughts about when my wife is going to go into labor have been at the forefront of my mind. While I am at work it has been hard to concentrate; I am on edge every time the phone rings. I estimate how long it will take me to travel 22.2 miles to get home if I got the call at my desk.
Each night before I go to sleep, I wonder whether I will be woken up by my wife at 1:00 or 2:00 am, telling me that she has been experiencing contractions for the past few hours. I realize, however, that the baby will be born when it is time; something I have no control over.
Many months ago, the Melitzer Rebbe advised me, "Know that Hashem decides everything, and we decide nothing."
Given this tzaddik's advice about the futility about making detailed plans for the future, every morning before I leave for work I now daven, "Ribonno shel Olam, please let me be with my wife when she goes into labor so I can help her get to the hospital in time."