A Bruised Smile
I felt horrible; absolutely terrible.
On Sunday night, I put our 11 week-old daughter in the bouncy chair and picked her up to carry her into the family room. As I crossed the threshold between the kitchen and the family room, the fabric of the bouncy chair gave out and our baby girl fell face down on the hard wood floor. She screamed and cried, and was comforted once my wife picked her up and nursed her.
While she did not seem to have any noticeable injuries, my wife pressed on our daughter's nose to see if it was sensitive. Thank G-d, aside from a little swelling and bruise on the upper lip, she appeared to be completely fine. With her bruised lip she even smiled at us as she always does.
In hisbodedus Monday morning I said,
"Ribbono shel Olam, please send my precious little angel a refuah shleima. May You heal any injuries we can see and any ones we cannot see. I was wrong; 100% wrong and was not careful enough. I feel absolutely horrible and could not live with myself if I knew I hurt her in a way that was permanent. Ribbono shel Olam, please help her; PLEASE HELP HER!"
Later that morning, I called my father, who is a doctor, and told him what he happened. He reassured me and told me that the lip heals incredibly fast and the bruise would be gone in no time. He also told me that her smile was an indication that she was not injured.
I have never experienced such a sickening feeling deep down in my stomach as I did after this happened; fear, worry, shame, and regret all bound together. I have certainly learned my lesson to be more careful in the future.