Thursday, January 11, 2007

Can Anyone Explain This Phenomenon?

My four year-old daughter's mood for the day appears to be dictated solely by whether she or her younger brother wake up first.

If she wakes up first, she is a wonderful all day long and is in a very good mood. However, if Lil' Tzaddik wakes up first, she will start screaming and misbehaving within minutes of seeing that he woke up first and she will remain in a bad mood for the rest of the day.

I have explained to her that he is not getting to do anything that she is missing during the time he is up. It only means that perhaps he gets to drink his juice and eat his waffle first.

My wife and I have observed this phenomenon over the past few weeks, and on every occurrence, our daughter's mood for the day can be attributed to who woke up first.

Does anyone have any insight or advice on this?

5 Comments:

At January 11, 2007 at 8:09:00 AM EST, Blogger yitz said...

Seems like good ole sibling rivalry to me. They'll outgrow it, eventually!

 
At January 11, 2007 at 9:55:00 AM EST, Blogger torontopearl said...

I think she figures she has to be "the leader" in everything, as she is the oldest. She should be the one to FIRST get up, she should be the one to be served FIRST, SHE has to be the one to set a precedence.

So take some time to say that she had "beauty sleep"...that girls like that! Ask her to tell you about her dreams and what she thought about at night before going to sleep and what she thought about in the a.m. upon waking. Make her "extra sleep" a matter of importance in conversation.

Just a random thought... Also, do she and L'il Tzaddik go to bed at the same time, or does he go earlier? If yes, then say he goes to bed earlier, so maybe he wakes up earlier. It's how his body talks to him and tells him to wake up. She is lucky if she goes to bed later and can sleep in later. You could emphasize these points...if they hold true.

 
At January 11, 2007 at 10:09:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Yitz: I sure hope so!

Pearl: I appreciate your suggestions and will be sure to try the "beauty sleep" angle. As for the their bed time, they both go to bed at the same time each night.

 
At January 11, 2007 at 11:39:00 AM EST, Blogger Michoel said...

You can say to her "I see it is really important to you to wake up first." And then just wait and see what she says. A child psychologist suggested this technique which is called "active listening". You kind of validate their feelings and through it back in theri court to work it out.

 
At January 11, 2007 at 8:07:00 PM EST, Anonymous Neshama said...

ASJ,

The first thing I thought of was "Which adult is up first and in the kitchen? If it's the Mrs., perhaps she likes coming in to talk to Imma alone? If it's Daddy, maybe she likes having private time with Daddy? Could it be that Daddy is unconsciously pulling a "Yaakov & Yosef" situation, and maybe Miss ASJ is jealous? Sounds like jealousy to me.

She definitely NEEDS something special for her to do in the AM whenever she wakes, in order to feel special. It's not a bad idea, as the "firstborn" does have a special role in a growing family, and does share distinctive personality traits with other "firstborns".

So in conclusion, I see the "Yaakov & Yosef" and the "firstborn" issues taking place. (I must tell you something I saw in the adorable picture of the ASJ trio ready for bedtime:
your daughter had a 'far-away' look in her eyes. This may be a mechanism she shifts into in order to cope with jealousy?) I have learned that some children are born into certain situations because as they grow, this becomes part of their tikkun neshama.

Of course, only the parents will know if any of our suggestions hit the mark or not. Much hatzlacha.

 

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