Three Friends - Then & Now [Part II]
(Painting by Ferenc Flamm)
Last week I got together with one of my friends for a cup of coffee during lunchtime. My friend was once a professional musician and now he earns his livelihood as a bureaucrat scrutinizing contracts for eight hours a day.
Our discussion centered around finding a creative outlet for our talents. I asked him if he ever had desire to return to the music business since it was apparent that this was still his true love. He replied that he wasn't yet ready to do so. He then asked me what my creative outlet was and I side-stepped the question with a non-answer. My mind raced and tried to determine whether I should tell him about my blog. I quickly decided against it, remembering the stories of others who had also regretted doing so.
As I walked back to my office, I started thinking about what this reluctance said about our friendship. Two of my current friends have absolutely no clue about my blog, while the other friend that I have never met in person only knows me through the words I write in my postings and e-mails to him.
I then reflected on these words that I wrote in a posting in November 2004:
When we are dealing with blogs, we are dealing with neshomas.
We can not see the person who blogs. We can not hear them.
We can only read their words. Words that come from within them; expressing who they really are.
I would say that my quality of friendship with my friend who I had coffee with is exceptionally strong. While we have discussed many very personal topics that I have addressed in my postings, I still have never revealed to him the existence of my blog; the inner sanctum of my thoughts. Does this fact reveal that our friendship is deficient in some manner? Or does the deficiency in friendship lie with my friend who only knows me through my blog but has never met me face to face? On one hand we have a person who only sees me for less than an hour once a week but communicates with me on an exceptionally deep level, while on the other hand we have a person who never sees me but communicates with me almost every single day on an equally deep level.
Perhaps the real truth lies within the words of Rebbe Yitzchak Meir Alter of Ger, who once said, "There are only two who truly know you: G-d and your spouse."
8 Comments:
That is a truly great quote (Chiddishei haRim)!
Thank you for sharing your thoughts and for your compliments on my blog. I would lying if I didn't say that I too was inspired to combine pictures and text by looking at other blogs such as Lazer Beams and Mentalblog.
It is funny how people will accept ideas from an anonymous blogger but not from person they actually know. If a person knows you he will be more likely to attack you as a hypocrite; not living up to the words you write. However, if a person doesn't know you, he looks at the ideas and not the personality behind the ideas.
Another great discussion. That quote from the Alter of Ger is clutch.
ASJ, you said:
"I still have never revealed to him the existence of my blog. Does this fact reveal that our friendship is deficient in some manner?"
But he knows you, so knowledge of your blog really doesn't make a difference. He might find it intersting reading, but I believe your blog is the essence of you and not the other way around (you being the essence of your blog). You friend knows the real you.
The questions I find myself asking based on reading this posting are: If you know me, then do you know my blog?
or
If you know my blog, then do you know me?
I'm the odd man out, b/c I blog under my own name. I have readers who know me personally and others who only know me in the blogosphere. I'd hope that whatever people think of my 'blog personality' is pretty much who I am. This is one of the reasons I chose to blog under my name.
Thanks for getting me to think a little.
there's a difference between God and your spouse???
:)
this distinction always bothered me.
the Notzer Hesed says that a man is always between the two women in his life, the Shechinah and his wife.
the Zohar says that a man's proper interaction with his wife in their home ensures that the Shechinah accompanies him on his journeys.
admittedly I've only been married 10 months but still, it's a disorienting dichotomy.
maybe kids will clear up the issue.
Though, ASJ, where does the chevruta fit into this relationship? your chevruta definitely also knows you.
(I think I'm going to have to go post about this..)
Yitz...: Despite the fact that I know that I should have a chevrusa, I learn by myself because of my time constraints.
[I know, I know...]
Avakesh: Well put.
@ASJ
I have a chevruta for learning Likkutei Halachoth of Rebbe Natan
(But thankfully that chevruta is content to learn in the same style as i learn solo--fast and out loud.)
but generally I prefer to learn by myself, because most of my learning is b'kiut (learning as much as I can, as quickly as possible) stopping all the time to explain to someone, or argue about what I think something means doesn't interest me. At least not in this stage, where I'm trying to absorb what the m'chaber is bringing down.
my Rav told me it's good to have at least one kavua hevruta so that your children see that your house is a place of torah..
i'm definitely more comfortable learning on my own.
I appreciate your feedback, Yitz...
Post a Comment
<< Home