Monday, March 05, 2007

A Winter Story That I Have Never Told My Parents

(Picture courtesy of

One winter afternoon when I was 16 years-old, I drove my father's Chevy Blazer down to the mall and noticed that the snowplows had just finished pushing the newly-fallen snow into large mounds near the edge of the parking lot. With a newly-acquired drivers license in my wallet and a brain operating with the logic of a teenage boy, I eyed a giant snow pile that was probably 10 to 15 feet tall and decided that I could definitely make it over it with my four-wheel drive.

I pushed the accelerator to the floor, aimed at the giant snow pile, and gathered momentum as I sped across the mall's parking lot. The Blazer easily overtook the snow pile's incline, and then it happened….

The Blazer stopped suddenly on the peak of the snow pile. I gunned the accelerator a few times in a desperate attempt to dislodge myself but I did not even move an inch. And then the realization hit me, I was stuck.

I had not prepared for such an eventuality and I did not even have mittens or a hat with me. I opened the door and got out to survey the predicament that I had gotten myself into. Immediately, I saw that the body of the Blazer was stuck on top of the snow pile and all four wheels were hanging off it. I got behind the Blazer and tried to push, but this just proved to be an exercise in futility. I then attempted to dig some of the snow out from underneath the Blazer with my bare hands. I quickly stopped once my hands turned red from the cold.

I do not know how much time elapsed during my efforts to free the Blazer, but I was horrified with the thought of having to call my father and explain the situation. At the same time, I realized that I was completely helpless without any further recourse.

And then, I noticed a large truck pull into a parking spot nearby. I climbed down the snow pile and went over to the middle-aged man and explained my predicament. He looked over at the snow pile, laughed, and then went to the back of his truck to get some chains. He attached the chain from the Blazer to his truck and then slowly dislodged me from the top of the snow pile.

WHEW!! The kindness of this stranger saved me from the wrath of my father.

When I returned home that evening, my heart was beating a million times a minute. My father asked me why I had been out so long and I mumbled something in response. I then made my way up to my room with gratitude that I hadn't gotten caught for this one.

18 years later, I still have never breathed a word of this one to my parents; unsure whether a 34 year-old can still be grounded.


At March 5, 2007 at 8:31:00 AM EST, Blogger torontopearl said...

Another victim of Jewish grabs you and just doesn't want to let go.

Great story. Do you feel better for confessing it now?

At March 5, 2007 at 8:57:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Thanks, Pearl.

I just saw my parents recently and thought about telling them.

At March 5, 2007 at 10:49:00 AM EST, Blogger Jack Steiner said...

I love that last line about being grounded. I think that the statute of limitations has run out on that one.

At March 5, 2007 at 10:51:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

ok...perhaps I will e-mail my mom the text of this posting sometime then.

At March 5, 2007 at 11:56:00 AM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Great story! You should tell them in person though - I suspect everyone will laugh about it (and I'm sure the SOL has expired on teh grounding). But don't do it via email...

Thanks for a great story!

At March 5, 2007 at 12:11:00 PM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

ok - will do.

I am glad you liked that one :)

At March 6, 2007 at 12:52:00 AM EST, Blogger Neil Harris said...

Nice story to share. Oy gevalt!! If my parents only knew some of the stuff I did in high school. B"H for the days before cell phones!! They had no idea where I was!!

At March 6, 2007 at 6:27:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Neil: Perhaps you should post about it? :)

At March 6, 2007 at 8:49:00 AM EST, Blogger yitz said...

I hope there's some to'eles in this story [actually, it was quite amusing, does that count?] cause the Chafetz Chaim taught us that you're not allowed to say Lashon Hara even bout yourself! But like Neil says, we all have some skeletons in our closets! :))

At March 6, 2007 at 8:52:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Yitz: I am glad that you too found it amusing :)

At April 8, 2008 at 8:09:00 AM EDT, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

I told my parents this story last weekend and the next day my mom said, "Your father and I discussed it last night and came to the conclusion that you're grounded!"

At April 8, 2008 at 10:12:00 AM EDT, Blogger Neil Harris said...

Ah! No matter how old we get, our parents are still our parents! :)


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