A Vignette From Wednesday Evening

Me: My eyes are still dry from all this cold weather we are having. Thank you for buying the Visine for me today at the store. Where did you put it?

Wife: It is over on the counter.

Me: [Picking up a spray bottle of 409 cleaner and pointing it toward my eyes] How do you use this stuff?

Wife: WHAT ARE YOU DOING!!!???? THAT IS 409, NOT VISINE!!!

Me: I know, I know. I was just kidding; like the time I told you that I was going to put aluminum foil in the microwave or when I said I was planning to make a three-point turn on the busy five-lane highway.

Wife: Hey, I never know with you sometimes….