Question & Answer With Rabbi Betsalel Edwards - Committing Aveiros In Our Dreams

A Simple Jew asks:

To what degree should we be concerned about the aveiros that we commit in our dreams?

Rabbi Betsalel Edwards answers:

We may be concerned, because often one dreams about the thoughts he entertains during the day. Be honest with yourself to ascertain if this is indeed the case. But remember that it is not at all so simple, and often we find that dreams and reality do not always see eye to eye. In other words, our tradition teaches us that something appalling in waking reality could be an omen of something quite good if found in a dream. By way of example, we find in the Gemara (Berachot, 57a):

If one dreams that he has intercourse with his mother, he may expect to obtain understanding, since it says, 'You will call understanding 'mother'.' If one dreams he has intercourse with a betrothed maiden, he may expect to obtain knowledge of Torah, since it says, 'Moses commanded us a law (the Torah), an inheritance of the congregation of Jacob.' Read not morashah [inheritance], but me'orasah [betrothed]. If one dreams he has had intercourse with his sister, he may expect to obtain wisdom, since it says, 'Say to wisdom, you are my sister.' If one dreams he has intercourse with a married woman, he can be confident that he is destined for the future world, provided he does not know her and did not think of her in the evening.

So we see that when found in dreams, our sages saw deplorable sins such as incest or adultery as metaphors for noble pursuits such as Torah knowledge.

Always seek to derive a good interpretation even for a bad dream, for the fulfillment of dreams follows the interpretation. Also in the Gemara (Berachot, 55b):

Rav Bana'ah told that there were twenty-four interpreters of dreams in Jerusalem. Once I dreamt a dream and I went round to all of them and they all gave different interpretations, and all were fulfilled, thus confirming that which is said: All dreams follow (interpretation of) the mouth.

Still, many dreams can be disturbing, and Chazal gave us advice as to how to deal with and even neutralize the negative aspects of a dream. Sometimes a fast may be warranted. The Shulchan Aruch (Orach Haim, 220:1) teaches, "If one has a dream that disturbs him, he may ameliorate it by gathering together three friends, and let them together say before him, "you saw a good dream." Then you should answer, "it was good, and it shall be good."