Question & Answer With Rabbi Micha Golshevsky - Becoming A Breslover Chassid

A Simple Jew asks:

How did your discovery of the teachings of Rebbe Nachman of Breslov lead you to become a Breslover chassid?

Rabbi Micha Golshevsky answers:

I was raised in a frum family, my father is a congregational rabbi, and from high school onward I went to regular Litvishe yeshivos, and got along well in that environment. Eventually, I came to learn in Israel with Rabbi Meiselman at Toras Moshe, but I also had the advantage of having a large family network in Yerushalayim with whom I was able to associate. My father's two brothers came to live here decades ago; both of them married into very prominent Litvishe families, but one of them became a Breslover many years ago. I was close with both of my uncles and their families, but I learned with my uncle Simcha z"l especially, and he was the Breslover uncle. Even so, he was very low-key with me and did not discuss Breslov with me at all. After all, we all have the same boundless Torah from Sinai, so it's not as if there was nothing to speak about. Both chassid and misnaged must learn gemara and halachah, Midrash, as well as Rishonim and Achronim.

This uncle, though, had been a student of Rav Shach, zt"l, had done shimush with Rav Meir Bransdorfer, yibadel l'chaim tovim, and was a prominent talmid chochom in his own right who had been a Rosh Kollel, had taught in Aish HaTorah for eight years, and who was also serving as a maggid shiur in a Breslover yeshiva. My uncle Simcha's father-in-law was the famous Rav Binyamin Zilber, zt"l, to whom the Chazon Ish, zt"l, referred as "Binyamin HaTzaddik"—he was from the earlier generation of Novhardoker talmidim, along with the Steipler, zt"l. (How Rav Binyamin chose Uncle Simcha for a chosson is a good story in its own right!)

Although my uncle was kind enough to learn with me during the afternoon seder and I definitely respected him as a huge lamdan, I showed no real interest in any kind of chassidus, let alone Breslov. If you had asked me then, I would have told you that I found that chassidic teachings simply didn't speak to me and felt no need to learn them. This is not surprising since most of my family were misnagdim. I had a closed mind to chassidus, so it is not at all surprising that I had no interest in its teachings. I have since found that most of the concepts with which most people are uncomfortable in chassidus are also found in other pre- or non-chassidic sources such as the Maharal, Ramchal, Ohr Hachaim and the Shelah Hakadosh, as well as the writings of the Vilna Gaon and his students, such as the Nefesh Hachaim. Chassidus didn't emerge from a vacuum, although it does teach us what to focus on.

During my first year in Israel, my uncle lost his wife of close to twenty-eight years. Less than a year later, my (younger) cousin, Moshe Golshevsky, got engaged to be married (to the grand-daughter of Rav Shmuel Horowitz, zt"l). Understandably, this was an especially joyous time for the entire family. The Shabbos before the wedding arrived. The chasan was slated to be called to the Torah in Breslov Meah She'arim.

As many know, Rebbe Nachman said that one should daven as early as possible. At the very least, one should not miss the Magen Avraham times. In the main Breslov shul, there are two minyanim: one for vasikin, and the second early enough to make the Magen Avraham time. Even so, I found myself at a late seudah Friday night, still up at 11PM with no sign of sleep in sight. Waking up early was never my forte.

Sometimes, with a very powerful alarm, I would manage to get out of bed fairly early. That Shabbos I had not set an alarm and I realized that I had two choices: either go to sleep and wake up with no chance of making it to the shul for my cousin's aufruf, or to stay up all night in the Breslov shul so that I wouldn't run the risk of missing it. I figured that I would daven with the sunrise minyan, put my head down and sort of wake up in time for the second minyan.

I looked at staying up all night as an opportunity to grab some hours of learning, but after an hour or two, I could no longer focus on gemara. I decided to scout around to see if there was something in English that I would likely be able to learn. After a quick search I found a book by one of my all-time favorite authors, Rav Aryeh Kaplan, zt"l. Although I had never read any of his translations of Rebbe Nachman's works, I was familiar with other writings of his. The sefer was a translation of Shivchei and Sichos HaRan that had been compiled together as "Rabbi Nachman's Wisdom." I opened to the first part, "His Praise," and did not relate at all to the incredible avodos of Rebbe Nachman. It was very impressive, but it just did not speak to me. It took only a few minutes to discern that although the English was great, I was not holding by reading through the first part of the book at all. I decided to flip ahead to "His Wisdom." What I found spoke to me in the most direct, the most powerful and moving way—more than any sefer mussar or machshavah had ever done. It was completely gripping and I read the entire remainder of the night literally on the edge of my seat.

I was particularly impressed with Rebbe Nachma's practical advice, especially that one must always be fresh, having good thoughts, and his general recommendations. I was also astounded by the potent chizuk and yiras Shomayim that permeated the sefer. I found myself completely inspired and renewed by the time it was time to daven.

That Sunday, my grandmother was slated to arrive in Israel for the wedding and I traveled with my uncle to meet her. Virtually the first thing I said after we got into the taxi was, "Please teach me something about Breslov…"

My uncle may have been a little surprised at my sudden interest, but he didn't show it. Instead he said, "Do you know what Azamra is?" (That is Likutei Moharan I:282)

"Nope," I blithely replied.

"How can you not be familiar with Azamra? It's the most essential lesson of Rebbe Nachman and definitely the first thing that anyone interested in Rebbe Nachman should know!" And we started from there. The more I studied, the more I found that Rebbe Nachman's teachings both spoke to me and helped me in the areas that troubled me.

I traveled with my uncle and cousins the following Rosh HaShanah to Uman and have been going ever since. That must have been about seventeen years ago. The kibbutz was definitely different in those years! It was maybe two years after the Russians had first opened Uman to the public—if you think the logistics are a pain today, you should have seen it then!

One note: I did not adopt the outward forms of the usual Yerushalmi Breslover dress (except that I did stop trimming my beard) until I was married, with the support of my wife, because I felt that it was positive for me spiritually. But I was definitely a Breslover.