A Question For You From Lev Shalem - Finding Another Rebbe
(Picture by H. Tours)Received via e-mail from Lev Shalem:
Please note that my question is not regarding finding someone to ask questions on halachic issues, I have that area covered. This is issue is strictly neshama related.
After spending a year and a half studying in a yeshiva in Israel, growing a tremendous amount, learning more than I could have ever imagined, I owe much of my spiritual success to my Rebbe who was my guide throughout my entire journey. My relationship with my Rebbe goes very deep. He is a huge "anav" who always turns down kibudim, but accepted the role as mesader kiddushim at my wedding. He is a man who although very difficult to keep in touch with, I felt a special connection to him.
Over the years however, it has gotten increasingly difficult to keep in touch. As we get older, life gets more and more difficult, and the need for a Rebbe, I believe, becomes all the more necessary. Life is a huge challenge, and I believe it should be that way, but no one should have to go through it alone. We need the guidance of our elders, of our mentors and of our Rebbeim.
I guess what I am trying to determine is, I know that my Rebbe and I will always have a special relationship, but at this point, I'm not sure it's enough. I am not sure that the amount we speak and the amount of availability he can give me is enough.
In a strange way, I don't think I will ever find another Rebbe that I can connect to like this. But all things being considered, I do need someone there for me. Someone who truly has my best interest at heart. Who knows me and who understands me.
I am just unsure if I should tough it out, or seek a new Rebbe? I am not sure I even know how to go about finding a Rebbe?
5 Comments:
G-d bless you and yours. i know this question from Lev Shalem is for jews. i on the other hand am a believing gentile. However, i would like to just add my view on my own contacts with my rabbis.
My first rabbi on the net was RYosef Kazen of chabad. He taught me 2-3 years, one to one on the net, even when he was in hospital suffering from cancer (i only read it in the chabad news when he passed away.) this was in the early 90's when the net came to where i live for the first time. Followed by RGinsburg of inner.org and Reuven ginat of bnei brak. RGinsburg taught me on a one to one basis for nearly 10 years, i learnt alot from him and i had printed two books of our Q&A. RDovid Shirel used to type his answers for me and send it. suddenly no one could contact him easily. I felt lost, even though i had rabbis who helped me then and now, from aish.com, torah.org, who even now keep in touch and help. This was before i came into breslov, ... .
RGinsburg was/is like a spiritual force that kept me studying and seeking Hashem and His first born, against all odds where i live, and suddenly, he was not there and i felt frightened. Then RShirel explained he is always there for any emergency i need, and gave two people's contact id, one in hebron and one in US thro whom i can get my message to him.
And yes, in any crises, family or spiritual, i can reach him. RDovid Shirel said Hashem brings help into our lives in accordance with our needs, that perhaps i needed RGinsburg to set a strong foundation to ensure i would, G-d Willing never return to xtn or any idolatry, and each rabbi that comes is to teach me something i need to know from him. that if i prayed very hard to Hashem, He will continue blessing me with rabbis whose help i will need in areas i need. And so it has always been with me, and today G-d has blessed me with a number of orthodox rabbis who are so gracious and kind to me and mine. blessings.
My Rebbe is the Lubavitcher Rebbe. But what do I do with the feeling that I need a living Rebbe to communicate with in the way the you do with the Sudilkover Rebbe?
We should pray that we can identify and draw close to this generation's true tzaddikim, especially one suited to be our rebbe. But it's not easy!:
"There are always difficulties and obstacles when you try to do anything holy. This is especially
true when you want to make the journey to the true Tzaddikim because this is the foundation for
everything else. Obstacles appear like at no other time. There are many Tzaddikim. But there is a
single point of truth to be found in their midst. When you seek to draw closer to this point of
truth -- and everything depends on this -- you will find obstacles and barriers springing up and confronting you on every side. You need fierce determination: you must strengthen your desire
and will-power in proportion to the greatness of the goal you are aiming for. Then you will
succeed in breaking the barriers and attaining your goal. There is no barrier in the world which a
person cannot break, so long as he has the desire and will-power to do so." (Likutei Moharan 66/Likutei Eitzot (Obstacles)).
Maybe the message your Rebbe is giving you by be less available to you is that you need to learn to have more confidence in yourself and your own decisions.
IMHO, the obvious answer to your question is -- why don't you ask your Rebbe if it would be appropriate for you to find an additional advisor? If he is truly an anav, he should not feel insulted.
If he answers that it would be appropriate, then you could ask him -- can he recommend someone or provide simonim?
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