Overcoming Nitzachon
Discussing the issue of feeling the need to resolve misunderstandings and be victorious in arguments, one of my friends remarked,
"You know, I'm not sure what happened to me over the years, but at this point in my life I seem to have reached a point of simple calm. I honestly don't care what others think anymore, and I don't have an iota of interest in explaining or debating with people. So, what happens is that it is very hard for me to build up the necessary requisite interest in other people's opinions to respond to these things..."
While one person may read these comments and be impressed with his ability to overcome his innate desire to be victorious in arguments, another person may regard these as the comments of an apathetic person.
Predictably, I tend to agree with my friend. I came to this realization a few months ago when in the very midst of a discussion with someone it became apparent that any logical arguments that I made were waved away with this person's ilogical responses. Right then and there, I concluded that it was the height of insanity to believe that I could ever win a rational argument with a person espousing irrational views.
This last sentence may sound elementary to some, yet I witness countless people falling into this trap on a daily basis; so strong is their trait of nitzachon that they cannot walk away until they get the last word in.
"You know, I'm not sure what happened to me over the years, but at this point in my life I seem to have reached a point of simple calm. I honestly don't care what others think anymore, and I don't have an iota of interest in explaining or debating with people. So, what happens is that it is very hard for me to build up the necessary requisite interest in other people's opinions to respond to these things..."
While one person may read these comments and be impressed with his ability to overcome his innate desire to be victorious in arguments, another person may regard these as the comments of an apathetic person.
Predictably, I tend to agree with my friend. I came to this realization a few months ago when in the very midst of a discussion with someone it became apparent that any logical arguments that I made were waved away with this person's ilogical responses. Right then and there, I concluded that it was the height of insanity to believe that I could ever win a rational argument with a person espousing irrational views.
This last sentence may sound elementary to some, yet I witness countless people falling into this trap on a daily basis; so strong is their trait of nitzachon that they cannot walk away until they get the last word in.
3 Comments:
There are some people who need to continue a fight, whether or not they are right or wrong, by having the "last word" in an argument, as in this way they think they've won it. I think this tells us a lot more about the person than it does about the "argument".
The one who leaves the argument and moves on with more important things in life, is the "winner".
I agree w/ "Anonymous". True free will means realizing that we don't HAVE to respond.
Amen!
There's a balance of knowing when it's worth continuing a discussion and when it's important to ignore a fight.
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