Tuesday, July 14, 2009

Shrugging Off Compliments


Most don't know how to accept a compliment. Instead of graciously accepting it, they bashfully shrug it off.

The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that it is not proper not to accept a compliment. "Receiving is the biggest part of giving", he told me. If a person does not acknowledge his own nekudos tovos, he will be unable to appreciate the nekudos tovos of other people. Additionally, he will discourage the person giving him a compliment from complimenting other people in the future.

The Rebbe instructed me that if I received a compliment, that I should accept it warmly. Later, however, I could uplift the compliment by telling Hashem that I understood that that this person had only remarked about a gift or talent that He had given me. Responding like this, the Rebbe remarked, would be exhibiting true humility.

7 Comments:

At July 14, 2009 at 1:28:00 PM EDT, Anonymous chabakuk elisha said...

Oy! It's gotta be one of the harder things to accept. I accept mussar more comfortably then a compliment...
Whenever I get a complement (thankfully, not often ;-), I get extremely uncomfortable and I’m simply at a loss for how to react.

 
At July 14, 2009 at 2:24:00 PM EDT, Blogger Neil Harris said...

I, too, come off sounding very fake when a compliment comes my way.

R Dessler also discusses this issue.

The Sudikover's advice is truly impressive.

 
At July 14, 2009 at 8:29:00 PM EDT, Anonymous Anonymous said...

The easiest thing to do is just say thank you-this is a simple act of receiving.

Another way to look at it is that when we are bashful or shy away from receiving compliments this is just the flip side of haughtiness or ego. Anytime we block Hashem's light from coming in, it's always ego.

 
At July 15, 2009 at 1:02:00 AM EDT, Blogger Crawling Axe said...

This was such a nice post, ASJ! ;)

 
At July 15, 2009 at 4:28:00 AM EDT, Blogger Devorah said...

Just smile.
:)

 
At July 15, 2009 at 9:08:00 AM EDT, Anonymous Bob Miller said...

While we're discussing compliments, I like to say that the sunflower photo was great. Who shot the picture?

 
At July 15, 2009 at 9:10:00 AM EDT, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Thanks everyone for the feedback.

Bob: I am not sure...

 

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