Shrugging Off Compliments
Most don't know how to accept a compliment. Instead of graciously accepting it, they bashfully shrug it off.
The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that it is not proper not to accept a compliment. "Receiving is the biggest part of giving", he told me. If a person does not acknowledge his own nekudos tovos, he will be unable to appreciate the nekudos tovos of other people. Additionally, he will discourage the person giving him a compliment from complimenting other people in the future.
The Rebbe instructed me that if I received a compliment, that I should accept it warmly. Later, however, I could uplift the compliment by telling Hashem that I understood that that this person had only remarked about a gift or talent that He had given me. Responding like this, the Rebbe remarked, would be exhibiting true humility.
The Sudilkover Rebbe explained that it is not proper not to accept a compliment. "Receiving is the biggest part of giving", he told me. If a person does not acknowledge his own nekudos tovos, he will be unable to appreciate the nekudos tovos of other people. Additionally, he will discourage the person giving him a compliment from complimenting other people in the future.
The Rebbe instructed me that if I received a compliment, that I should accept it warmly. Later, however, I could uplift the compliment by telling Hashem that I understood that that this person had only remarked about a gift or talent that He had given me. Responding like this, the Rebbe remarked, would be exhibiting true humility.
7 Comments:
Oy! It's gotta be one of the harder things to accept. I accept mussar more comfortably then a compliment...
Whenever I get a complement (thankfully, not often ;-), I get extremely uncomfortable and I’m simply at a loss for how to react.
I, too, come off sounding very fake when a compliment comes my way.
R Dessler also discusses this issue.
The Sudikover's advice is truly impressive.
The easiest thing to do is just say thank you-this is a simple act of receiving.
Another way to look at it is that when we are bashful or shy away from receiving compliments this is just the flip side of haughtiness or ego. Anytime we block Hashem's light from coming in, it's always ego.
This was such a nice post, ASJ! ;)
Just smile.
:)
While we're discussing compliments, I like to say that the sunflower photo was great. Who shot the picture?
Thanks everyone for the feedback.
Bob: I am not sure...
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