Tuesday, November 29, 2005

Dispatches From The Home Front - November Edition

A conversation with my three year-old daughter last Friday night:

Daughter: I want a little puppy.

Me: Who is going to take care of this puppy?

Daughter: I will take care of it.

Me: Who is going to feed it?

Daughter: I will.

Me: Who is going to walk the puppy every day?

Daughter: I will walk the little puppy.

Me: Where is the puppy going to sleep at night?

Daughter: Outside.

Me: Outside? It is SO cold outside.

Daughter: That's ok, it will wear a jacket.


My 17 month-old son is truly the master of pushing his sister's buttons. Every time his sister yells at him, he snatches her favorite Ernie doll and runs out of the room. If she runs after him and hits him, he uses all the strength in his 30+ pound body, wrestles her to the ground, and then sits on her head.

On Sunday on the way to the kosher supermarket, my daughter started whining and carrying on in her car seat. Knowing the best way to antagonize her, my son looked over at her, scrunched up his face, and said, "AAAAGH!" My daughter immediately reacted to this sound with more hysterics. This prompted my son to repeat it over and over, "AAAGGGH!........ AAAHHGH!.... AGGGHH!" Both my wife and I started laughing, and my daughter finally calmed down when she realized that her brother had gotten the better of her.

True peace between siblings was not restored until later when we returned home and watched Uncle Moishy - Volume 8 for the first time. Unfortunately, they could only sit on the floor next to each other for so long and the ceasefire was broken once the credits started rolling.


At the kosher supermarket my daughter pointed to one the men stocking the shelves and told my wife, "Mommy, mommy that man looks like Avraham Fried!"


Later that evening at dinner, the following dialogue ensued:

Daughter: I don't want this....it smells!

Wife: It doesn't smell. It's just juice.

Daughter: It smells stinky.

Wife: It doesn't smell, you smell.

Daughter: No, YOU smell!

Wife: No, you smell worse.

Daughter: Well you smell harder!!


Last night when I turned the channel to George Shrinks, my daughter put her hands on her head and said, "Oy gevalt, I want to watch Bob the Builder."


I sent this posting to Uncle Moishy's production company and on Monday night a large envelope with an autographed Uncle Moishy picture made out to my son and daughter was waiting for us in the mailbox. My wife and I are planning to give it to them once we get it framed for Chanukah. They sure are going to be excited!

Dispatches From The Home Front - August Edition can be read here.


At November 29, 2005 at 8:36:00 AM EST, Blogger Shoshana said...

What cute stories - thanks so much for sharing them!

Siblings certainly do know how to get to each other better than anyone else. And they never seem to grow out of it.

At November 29, 2005 at 8:37:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Shoshana: It is fun and intersting to watch, especially since I am an only child.

At November 29, 2005 at 10:24:00 AM EST, Blogger Shoshana said...

That must be interesting to watch then, I never thought about the difference in perspective from an only child's viewpoint. My brothers can manage to turn me into a little kid in seconds - I love them and hate them for it!

Did you have any close cousins that were like siblings growing up?

At November 29, 2005 at 10:27:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

All my five cousins lived in different states so while we saw them occasionally, I did not have a "sibling-like" relationship with any of them.

At November 29, 2005 at 10:42:00 AM EST, Blogger FrumGirl said...

Your children sound very cute, B"IH!! Much nachas... enjoy!

At November 29, 2005 at 10:55:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Thanks Frumgirl!

At November 29, 2005 at 11:11:00 AM EST, Blogger torontopearl said...

The "OY GEVALT...I want to watch 'Bob the Builder'" tops them all.

Thanks for sharing.

At November 29, 2005 at 11:23:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Pearl: That was a last minute addition. She said that last night before going upstairs to bed.

At November 29, 2005 at 12:48:00 PM EST, Blogger Soccer Dad said...

Our 4 yo daughter has been asking my wife to go to the hospital and buy a baby.

At November 29, 2005 at 1:20:00 PM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Soccer Dad: That is funny. My daughter told us that she wants to trade her brother in for a baby sister.

At November 29, 2005 at 2:53:00 PM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said...


Thanks ASJ for giving me a good laugh today.

When we had our third child (it was our 2nd boy) my 5 year old son and 2 1/2 year old daughter wanted to know the gender. When I let them know them it was a boy, my daughter reeled back and slapped her brother.

Similarly, with our latest birth (4th boy out of 6 children BE"H) my 7 1/2 year old son (third child - the one born above) was so pleased that it was a boy, he whispered in my ear "I was so nervous that it would be a girl, at least now were gonna be in the majority for a long time."

At November 29, 2005 at 3:10:00 PM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

CE: Smart kid! By the way, I have never asked you before if you were an only child (like me).

At November 29, 2005 at 3:34:00 PM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

Indeed I am...

(Although, when I was about 4 I did ask my neighbor's mother if she could give us her daughter so that I could have a sister. Surprisingly, to me, she said no - I had thought it was a very reasonable request.)

At November 29, 2005 at 7:03:00 PM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

Yet another way we are similar!

Is it strange to have 6 children when you were an only child?

At November 29, 2005 at 7:16:00 PM EST, Anonymous Anonymous said...

It is.

My wife, on the other hand, comes from a large family (and somewhat different culture), and as such, we have different attitudes and relationships with our children and extended family.

At times this can be source of arguments, but in many ways it is quite an interesting study...

At November 30, 2005 at 6:23:00 AM EST, Blogger MC Aryeh said...

As someone with many siblings, this made me laugh in recognition...very cute...

At November 30, 2005 at 6:34:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...

MCAryeh: How many brothers and sisters do you have?

At November 30, 2005 at 6:43:00 AM EST, Blogger MC Aryeh said...

ASJ: I am one of seven.

At November 30, 2005 at 6:49:00 AM EST, Blogger A Simple Jew said...



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