Dispatches From The Home Front - November Edition

A conversation with my three year-old daughter last Friday night:

Daughter: I want a little puppy.

Me: Who is going to take care of this puppy?

Daughter: I will take care of it.

Me: Who is going to feed it?

Daughter: I will.

Me: Who is going to walk the puppy every day?

Daughter: I will walk the little puppy.

Me: Where is the puppy going to sleep at night?

Daughter: Outside.

Me: Outside? It is SO cold outside.

Daughter: That's ok, it will wear a jacket.

--

My 17 month-old son is truly the master of pushing his sister's buttons. Every time his sister yells at him, he snatches her favorite Ernie doll and runs out of the room. If she runs after him and hits him, he uses all the strength in his 30+ pound body, wrestles her to the ground, and then sits on her head.

On Sunday on the way to the kosher supermarket, my daughter started whining and carrying on in her car seat. Knowing the best way to antagonize her, my son looked over at her, scrunched up his face, and said, "AAAAGH!" My daughter immediately reacted to this sound with more hysterics. This prompted my son to repeat it over and over, "AAAGGGH!........ AAAHHGH!.... AGGGHH!" Both my wife and I started laughing, and my daughter finally calmed down when she realized that her brother had gotten the better of her.

True peace between siblings was not restored until later when we returned home and watched Uncle Moishy - Volume 8 for the first time. Unfortunately, they could only sit on the floor next to each other for so long and the ceasefire was broken once the credits started rolling.

-

At the kosher supermarket my daughter pointed to one the men stocking the shelves and told my wife, "Mommy, mommy that man looks like Avraham Fried!"

--

Later that evening at dinner, the following dialogue ensued:

Daughter: I don't want this....it smells!

Wife: It doesn't smell. It's just juice.

Daughter: It smells stinky.

Wife: It doesn't smell, you smell.

Daughter: No, YOU smell!

Wife: No, you smell worse.

Daughter: Well you smell harder!!

--

Last night when I turned the channel to George Shrinks, my daughter put her hands on her head and said, "Oy gevalt, I want to watch Bob the Builder."

--

I sent this posting to Uncle Moishy's production company and on Monday night a large envelope with an autographed Uncle Moishy picture made out to my son and daughter was waiting for us in the mailbox. My wife and I are planning to give it to them once we get it framed for Chanukah. They sure are going to be excited!

--
Dispatches From The Home Front - August Edition can be read here.